The perfect pint...

Guinness SurgerGuinness® Surger®

Today I heard about a new product that Guinness® are bringing out. To get a perfect pint of Guinness® all you have to do is tip the contents of a can into a glass, place the glass on a special mat and ultrasonic sound waves pass through the glass and the liquid within and hey presto.

I thought that this was strictly hush hush and that I would get the scoop, that I would be the first person to leak this technological revelation onto the internet. I believed that this information was accurate as the brother of my undisclosed source indeed confirmed that it was true. As any investigative journalist would do I checked my sources. Of course then I found that it wasn’t such a huge secret after all as the Guinness® Surger® was already listed on the Guinness® web-site.

After looking at the little demonstration clip I can’t really see that it’s going to be all that much different from Guinness® Draught Cans. If you’re any thing like me the first pint doesn’t touch the sides, so I personally couldn’t really care how it is poured.

Now if Guinness® could do something about that unfortunate side effect, The Black Wind, then I’d be impressed. But, I’m not really all that concerned myself as my little semi-detached penthouse flat has many windows that can be easily opened on the morning after the night before. And I live on my own anyway so who cares.

One extraordinary property of the black stuff is that you can walk into a pub feeling that you have to point percy at the porcelain. Then, after the first pint, you feel in no desperate rush to drain your lizard. It is only after the third pint do you remember that you needed to answer the call of nature (I couldn’t think of any more good peeing euphemisms). Or maybe that’s just me.