Ants...

In case you don't know what one looks like (not to scale)In case you don't
know what one looks like
(not to scale)

When you see just the one you think that it must be lost. But when it comes to ants where there is one there is always more. This is thankfully at work. The perils of a ground floor office.

I had moved one or two ants into the soil around the plant in the meeting room, thinking that they would have a happy little life, at least until watering day. Over a few weeks more and more appeared. I devised a cunning plan to lure them to an untimely death. Place a spoon of honey on a plate, place the spoon on the edge of the plate, acting as a bridge, and watch them flock, or whatever ants do. They seemed too lazy to even climb the spoon but when a few of the ants found some honey on a post-it note that was it. The call went up, “Come on in the eatin’s fine!”. A few died when honey was poured on them but that didn’t stop the rest. Like pigs around a trough they were.

There was only one thing for it. Enough was enough. They had to go. A quick google for ant killing resulted in two possible solutions. To either buy an ant trap or to make one. The homemade trap consisted of a sponge, one with lots of holes in it, fine sugar and a barrel of military grade napalm. Yes, that’s military grade, as opposed to the kind used in nurseries to control two year olds.

The solution I devised seemed to work best. Take one cardboard tube and a roll of duct tape. Start to wind the tape around one end of the tube. When the tape has a steady hold onto the cardboard twist it by 180 degrees. This leaves an unsightly bump but this matters not. Carefully wind the tape, now sticky side out, so that it covers half the length of the tube. You may have guessed how this weapon was used. Soon the duct tape will be covered with ant body parts. It didn’t look good but it did serve two purposes: killing the ants and removing them from the field of battle. It also safely released pent up aggression. This has been known to build to such dangerous levels that most days feel like introducing my keyboard to my screen at high speed.